In my role
as a single mother, I fear losing my beloved
firstborn as he endeavors down life's path his nurturing
from me outgrown.
He'll seek
knowledge from another source with qualities instilled from
the first; of discipline, love and kindness as I
quenched his hunger and
thirst.
I fear not
being able to hear his voice - his residual "ni-nite" from
toddler years; his coming home from a late night out and
waking me with "hi mom, I'm
here".
Nothing will
keep me from thinking of his going to sleep without me
near; away from my touch, away from my arms, alone in
another life's
sphere.
Is it worth
the price of freedom, will I tremble myself to
sleep from missing my son so far away - away from my
love and keep?
I will lose
a part of me - a rainbow of light since his birth with
his exuberant personality, his singing, laughter and
mirth.
I feel
desperate to lose one who matters yet still I must live out
each day with moments stretching into hours with my love
many sunsets away.
But how do I
relinquish the need to protect one of my brood from the
bond so strong and deep as the joy and challenge of
motherhood.
